Friday, May 27, 2011

And I thought no TV was bad...

2 big things happened last night.
1. The power went out.
2. My 14yo had a tantrum.
Normally when our power goes out it is either only out for a half hour or less or it goes out during the winter when ice has weighed down the pine trees and one of them falls on a power line.  Last night was neither of those.  We had a small thunderstorm.  There were no tornado warnings or even watches, no hail, no heavy winds.  Just some rain, light wind, thunder and lightening.  There was no loud boom or bang and when we drove up the road to see who had power and who didn't, there were no trees down, no car accident, no power crews working.  The street behind mine still had power.  These are the things you can't do when the power is out (and yeah I tried them all:)
Turn on the light in the windowless powder room.
Watch the small TV upstairs...not even a dvd.
Turn on the bedside lamp.
Use the fan.
Look at the thermostat to see just how hot it's gotten since the air stopped.
Get water out of the spout in the freezer.
Charge your cell phone.
Make your kids behave. 
Which leads me to the second big thing that happened.
My 14 year old had a tantrum.  This is not new.  He has had them before.  I call them tantrums for lack of a better word.  Sometimes they actually look like what you would see a 3 year old do but magnified.  Sometimes they are different and a better word is probably episode.  This one was more like an episode.  But it all stemmed from not getting what he wanted and anger at receiving consequences for misbehavior.  The tantrum/episode started shortly after the power went out.  It was still light outside so we were all hanging out in the living room because  it has the most windows and they face west.  After being told to leave the cat alone several times 14 yo picked him up yet again and held him until he meowed and growled.  He is working on earning back privileges and has to go 5 days without cussing, hurting others, or being disrespectful to me before he gets his phone back.  I promptly let him know that this day was not going to count toward those 5 days. That's all it took.  He started by yelling and cussing and threw a couple of things, then wrote the word Fuck on his stomach and ran around the living room in his underwear chanting "fuck fuck fuck."  At this point I took the younger boys upstairs to my room and locked the door.  When we got up there I also realized that they could not watch a movie in my room like I had planned.  It was around 7pm.  For the next 3 hours the little boys played on the total gym, drew pictures and cut paper while 14yo son yelled, banged on the door, went out onto the roof and banged on the windows, found an unlocked window that is above the foyer and threw things into it, ran around the house with a broom speaking gibberish, and was generally obnoxious.  But he did not break anything and he did not put any holes in the wall.  I was in and out of the room several times making sure everything was ok and 14yo remained safe.  Finally at 10 I told the younger boys to go ahead and go to sleep in my bed and blew out all the candles, left one electric one on and locked them in the room.  I went downstairs to sit in the dark.  14yo followed me down there and crept around trying to get my attention for about an hour.  Finally he said, "you know what, I'm done" and went to bed.  I slept on our 4 foot 8 inch couch since there were kids in my bed.  I'm 5'3".  It was uncomfortable, and hot, but I don't know how hot because the thermostat is electric. Finally, at 3am the power came back on.  I checked the freezer and everything was still frozen and the milk in the fridge still felt cold. All was well again at my house...for the moment....

Thursday, May 26, 2011

No TV

We are having a "no tv" day in my house.  
Actually just no tv for the kids because I'm addicted to Nancy Grace and Court TV and have got to get caught up on the Casey Anthony trial.  
But anyway, I'm wondering what ever possessed me to have the brilliant idea of taking TV privileges away from my kids for their misbehavior.  Seriously!  They fought all day yesterday and I somehow thought that giving them one less thing to do today was going to lessen the fighting?  Once it came out of my mouth though, there was no taking it back.
Guess what? It seems to be (gasp) working!  Now that I've said that, I'm sure a huge fight will break out upstairs where the younger boys are (gasp again) cleaning their rooms...without being asked.  
So I guess I better finish this quickly and go out back and set up the homemade slip n slide while things are still calm.  

Monday, May 23, 2011

Summer

The school year has ended! No more getting up at 6:30am! No more worrying whether my boys will make it through the day without getting in trouble. No more dropping off and picking up at 2 different schools every day. No more scheduled activities for my kids for 7 hours a day...
Now what am I going to do?
I have spent the last two weeks running from school to school attending awards (yes my kids actually got awards) ceremonies and field days and end of year parties and sock hops and band concerts and checking kids out early because they "aren't really doing anything the rest of the day anyway."
Even though I was busy, at least my kids were too.
It is suddenly HOT - 95 degrees yesterday.
Our neighborhood pool is closing - not happy about this one.
We bought a slip n slide on Friday - it was broken 30 minutes later.
We also bought water balloons - they are all gone.
There was a family fun fest in town on Saturday.  It had bouncy houses and a spider jump - all for free! It ended with a concert by a Jimmy Buffet tribute band. We spent alot of time there and I am really sunburned, but the free fun for the boys and entertainment for the adults made it worth it.  They gave away free beach balls at the festival....I have confiscated 4 of them.  
Last night my boys had a friend spend the night - we are not doing that again.  He ran around yelling that he was gonna go crazy if he didn't get apple juice and then collected money off of the floors of my boys rooms and hounded my 20 year old son until he agreed to go to the convenience store and get him apple juice with all of the dimes and nickels he had found.  Then they woke everyone up at 7am.  I posted a comment on my facebook about not having anymore sleepovers and his mom called him and made him go home...same mom who wouldn't let her kids play with mine 2 weeks ago.  
One neighbor still won't wave at me when I go in and out of the neighborhood.  That's okay, one of my bad influences got a certificate from his teacher for most improved behavior and the assistant principal gave him a $20 Burger King gift card and said he was the "turnaround student of the year" out of the entire school (over 800 students.)
So 3 days into the summer and 2 1/2 months to go.  With a week of vacation with me and a week with their dad plus his weekends I figure that's about 45 more days for me to figure out how to fill.  When I was a kid we went outside and found stuff to do on our own.  Why is it my kids can't do that....without getting in trouble?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Yet another appendix scare

I think I am almost caught up on sleep after spending all night Wednesday at the hospital.
My 14yo son didn't feel well and stayed home from school Wednesday.  By that evening he felt well enough to eat 8 chick fil a nuggets and an ice dream cone.  Then he felt like playing basketball in the driveway after we got home. When bedtime rolled around his stomach ache was suddenly back.  He started rolling around on the floor moaning and groaning about his stomach.  I told him to go to bed.  30 minutes later he was thrashing around the hallway.  I told him to go to bed.  Another 30 minutes and he was running up and down the stairs and thrashing around the living room.  I told him to go to bed.   I am by no means unsympathetic, but I had been up in the middle of the night for 3 hours just a week ago with what I imagined was this same stomach ache.  I had also taken a child to the Urgent Care center 2 weeks ago for a very similar stomach ache that was caused by constipation.  So while 14yo son was thrashing around and yelling about his stomach I calmly explained all of this and told him to try using the bathroom. This cycle repeated a few times with the drama increasing each time.  At one point I said "You do not have a fever and you are not throwing up and there really isn't much I can do for you." And then a little later, "I can give you some Pepto or Mylanta if you would like but I don't think it is going to help."  I kinda wish I hadn't said that part.  He opted for the Pepto....Pepto is pink.  I also should have listened when he smelled it and said "no, I changed my mind I don't want to take anything." But I persisted and he took the Pepto....did I mention Pepto is pink?  I walked out of the room and no sooner had I gotten to my bedroom did I hear him throw up.  He had a bucket in his room just in case this happened.  However, he did not throw up in the bucket.  He threw up 6 inches from the bucket....all. over. the. floor... it was pink.  He then proceeds to run to the bathroom that is farthest away from his bedroom...all the way downstairs.  The closest bathroom is the one the boys share and it is always nasty and no one wants to throw up in a nasty bathroom and I guess I was blocking the way to the second closest which was my bathroom and I sometimes get mad at them for using my bathroom because I don't like to sit in pee.  As I'm downstairs helping him all I can think of is how I sure hope the dog does not go into his bedroom and how I don't yike Fo Up thanks to a post I read earlier that day on Holy Mama's blog about Fo Up and dogs eating vomit being in the Bible...which it is.
Even though I'm thoroughly frustrated  with the pink vomit not in the bucket tracked down the stairs I'm thinking this is gonna be good because now 14yo will have some relief and hopefully get to sleep.  Not so.  He is still in horrible pain, so I decide in order to not be the mom whose kid had his appendix burst because she didn't think he was that sick that I will take him to the ER.  
We arrived at 12:20am.  They felt his stomach, listened to it, put in a line for an IV, took blood and ordered an Xray.  By 3:30am the doctor decided there was nothing seriously wrong and we could go home with a prescription for nausea medicine and rest.  The nurse came in with all our paperwork and took out the IV which had not been used except to draw blood.  She offered to go ahead and give him a dose of the nausea medicine before we left.  In a shot.  In his butt.  He said yes please.  After watching him move over to the bed to get ready for the shot, she decided to go talk to the doctor, who decided that we should go ahead and do a CT scan to be safe.  I'm thinking ok that won't take long because this place is deserted.  I was thinking wrong.  They needed to use contrast dye for the CT which requires drinking some nasty stuff and letting it move through your system......FOR TWO HOURS!!  They also had to insert another IV to give him saline solution and some pain and nausea meds.  After that they moved us into another room because the TV channel in the room we had been in could not be changed without standing on a chair and I had been watching Shepherd's Chapel for 3 hours.  New room, new TV show, and feel good meds for ds so he was able to sleep.   The two hours passed quicker than I thought and we headed down for the CT scan at 5:30am.  Around 6am the doctor came in and said everything looked normal on the CT so we could finally go home.  I got home just in time to start the next day....And the carpet in 14yo son's bedroom.....stained PINK!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My least favorite holiday...

For years I have known that Mother's Day is my least favorite holiday of the year.  Even knowing this I always had high expectations and was always disappointed.  I recently told someone that it should be called Mothers with Husbands or Grown Kids Day although when I was married my husband used to always say, "well you're not MY mother."
This year started off no different.  I had unreasonable expectations.  I didn't want jewelry or lavish gifts.  What I wanted was for my children to get along and behave for the day.  That is probably not going to happen until they are grown.  So after my kids let me sleep just late enough for them to not have to go to church, I got up and cleaned the kitchen, took out the trash, refereed a fight, and made some coffee and walked through the trashed living room and back upstairs to have my breakfast (coffee) in bed.  
I decided that is where my pity party was going to end.  We had plans to go visit my mom for the day and if just being able to spend the day with my mom weren't enough, she lives on a lake.....where we can sit on the dock and the boys can swim and play and be outside all day.  So we got ready and headed out around noon.  Despite  being in the car with 5 boys for 2 hours round trip and the sporadic bickering throughout the day it was a good day.  I haven't spent time with my mom in a while and it's the first time the boys have been able to swim in the lake this season.  My oldest even took us out for a boat ride.  
We ate dinner on the way home and got here just in time for the boys to head to bed.  I was exhausted and in need of a bath after being at the lake all day, but wanted to watch the Amazing Race and knew if I went up to take a bath I would never make it back downstairs.  The living room looked cleaner than I remembered and seemed to have fresh vacuum marks.  But I was tired and I had just vacuumed the day before so I thought maybe those marks were left from then and I have a horrible habit of making everyone wait in the car as I run around and do last minute straightening so I could have done more than I remembered as we were leaving that morning.
When I finished watching TV I went up to get rinsed off and crawl into bed.  But when I got up to my room I realized the living room wasn't the only room that looked freshly vacuumed.  In addition to the fresh vacuum marks in my room, my bed was covered with new clothes.  My boyfriend had come by while we were gone, cleaned up, made me a card, and left the clothes on my bed.  I was so excited....but also still kinda stinky from being in the sun all day.  I jumped in the shower and got clean enough and got out and started trying on clothes.  It was depressing.  When I got divorced I lost 30 pounds.  Over the last 3 years I have put that 30 pounds back on.  I have tried dieting and exercising but always end up right back at that same weight.  I had just a week ago decided that I needed to come to terms with my weight.  I am not overweight by most standards, I just don't have the body that I did before.  My belly is flabby and my hips are big.  But I still look good in most of my clothes.  I decided that  I am 40 years old with 5 kids and I don't need to wear a bikini anymore. Unfortunately one of the things my boyfriend had bought me was a really cute two-piece bathing suit.  It didn't look so cute when I tried it on.  On top of that 2 of the dresses that should have been my size were too small.  So now I am right back to feeling bad about myself because of something that was meant as an act of kindness.  My boyfriend knows my struggles and wanted to make my Mother's Day special.  And he did.  I'm the one who can't let those negative feelings go.  I don't think Mother's Day will ever be my favorite holiday, but I'm hoping to at least move it up the list a little bit at a time.

Friday, May 6, 2011

My kids can't play with your kids....

It's been a rough 2 days.  I have spent the last 2 days sick at my stomach, crying, and taking headache medicine.  I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it but I can't concentrate on anything else.  Actually I have talked about it.  To my boyfriend, my mom, my kids, the neighbors, the police, the assistant principal.  This blog is more like a diary.  I think only 3 people have read it.  So if it helps me get things out then I can handle judgement from 3 more people.
I have difficult kids.  They are impulsive.  They do stupid things without thinking.  They have a difficult time taking responsibility for their own actions.  They can be disrespectful.  They have anger management issues.  I love them with all my heart.
My 8 year old started a fire in a vacant lot.  There was alot of tall dry grass on the lot.  The fire spread....quickly.  Neighbors saw it and called the fire department and helped put it out.  Thankfully no one was hurt and it did not reach any houses but it came close.  
My 14 year old got in trouble at school....for the 14th time this year.  He will be going to alternative school next year.  I'm okay with this (the consequence, not the getting in trouble.)
My boys told me today they are not allowed to hang out with their closest friends anymore because of these things.  I'm sure there is other stuff...my kids get in trouble a lot.  I can't get in touch with the mom to find out if this is true or not, but another mom in the neighborhood has told me her son is not allowed to play with my boys. I'm trying not to be bitter, but I'm a little pissed.  Best friends' mom knows our history and has never had a problem with me taking her boys to and from church on Wed nights so she can go out on dates or having me take them to and from school when they've missed the school bus and she is working or out of town.  Her boys bring BB guns over to my house and I've had to tell them and her my kids aren't allowed to play with those. 
I get it.  I wouldn't want my sons hanging with people who were bad influences.  But it still hurts.  I want to move away.  I want to start over.  I want everything to be all better.  Instead I have to drive by those houses and hold my head up every time I leave the neighborhood and every time I come back home.  Instead I have to listen to my other 14 year old tell me how unfair it is that he can't go to his friends' houses because of the things his brothers have done.  Instead I have to sit here at my computer pretending not to cry while we are all cooped up in the house because the boys can't go to their friends' houses or have company and I don't feel well enough to take them anywhere. 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Groceries

I went grocery shopping yesterday.
I have not been grocery shopping in 3 weeks.
Other than to run in for milk and bread.
We have been eating out A LOT.
Which is partially because I have not been grocery shopping in 3 weeks.
But also because we have soccer almost every night.
So I went to the grocery store yesterday.
Without a list.
And Hungry.
Wanna see what I got?
Loaded into the van 
(minus the dog food and cat litter which went into the way back)

pantry items 
(my pantry is not this big and some of this is still on my counter today)

Fridge and Freezer
(barely fit all that in)
My kids love me again...