Friday, November 18, 2011
A block of cheese and a box of wheat thins
Just 2 of the many things that have gone missing from the kitchen only to turn up in the boys' rooms at a later time. I'm tired. Really. Really. Tired. I now have 2 kids in alternative school. And 2 more who I'm doing my best to teach to do the right thing while they watch their brothers go down the absolute wrong path. Their dad is checked out. He doesn't have to deal with it on a daily basis so he just pretends everything is fine. He doesn't show up for meetings at the schools and even though he only lives 5 minutes away he does not help out with discipline when the boys are acting up at home. Not that I would expect much from him....he doesn't even come to soccer games....even when the boys are at his house for the weekend. This isn't really about cheese or wheat thins but sometimes I wish it was. If dealing with hungry boys pilfering food was the worst of my problems I would love it. But it isn't. It is about boys with a lack of respect for rules and laws and other people's things who are impulsive and want what they want when they want it and don't care about the consequences or who gets hurt in the process.
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Ok, so things suck big time right now for you. I wish there was an easy solution, but I know there isn't. I would prefer to email you, but can't find your email address on here so instead.... I don't have any boys. I do have a step daughter with a piece of shit for a mom who sounds a lot like a certain man you described. Step daughter has her days, I homeschooled her in 8th grade because it got so bad. Had I not decided to have a baby she would still be in homeschool because then we have control over what she does, not because it helped. Nothing really helps. There are good days and bad days. I raised 2 boys starting in 2007, they are my hubbys little brothers. The older one is now almost 21 and still lives with us, he is a good kid. The other one, the younger one is terrible. He did a lot of bad things. His probation officer advised that he was concerned for our lives. I looked in CalFarley school in Texas and Job Corps, but he was declined for CalFarley because he was considered a pyro and did some other bad things I still can't talk about. Job Corps you have to be 16 I think and he was only 15, so instead we sent him to Washington state to live with another brother and cut off all contact. Not really something that you as a mom could do as easily as I could with my husband's little brother. I can't say I understand your situation because I don't know it, I do know that when things are hard it seems like there is never going to be a time when they get better. I was on the path to divorce my husband because of the littlest brother. It's hard to be treated like shit by the ones you have loved and taken care of, the ones who you have given up everything for. It sucks that they don't care about the consequences of their actions, and that they don't care that they are hurting you. I hope you are able to find a way to get through. Maybe you should look into CalFarley or JobCorps if they are old enough? Sometimes tough love is best? Sticking my nose where it doesn't belong and you can tell me to butt out. I will. But I hope you know that things won't suck forever. Ugh, this got long. sorry.
ReplyDeletehmmm...guess my email isn't public on here. You can email me at momof5boys@windstream.net. I've looked into job corps. Unfortunately they are only 15 and there are some other issues that could make them ineligible. I have read some of your story and sounds like you went through some pretty bad stuff. It's always nice to hear others have been through similar issues and survived. Thanks and congrats again!
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